We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
