Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
