If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
