Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
