Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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