all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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