there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
