there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
