Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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