I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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