No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
