I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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