Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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