It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
