He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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