Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
