i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
