all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
