oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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