I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
