I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
