put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
