well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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