Please, let me fuck your mom
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Use "feeling words"
Yay
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
