no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
