Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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