Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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