He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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