All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
