id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
