She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
