brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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