I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
