hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
