he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
