My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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