is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
