batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize