Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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