Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
