Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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