hotel room ftw
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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