from now on my penis is your penis
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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