I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
