Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
