we're blogging at a bar
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you would pick up someone in the library
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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