I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
