I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
