The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Who died my cat blue again?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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