God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so explain again why im purple
no
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
