I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
