Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
40s are totally the cure
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
