I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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