I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She even gives head with a lisp.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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