I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
