I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
