We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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