thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
