worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
