3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
